So here we are on Day 3. I’m going to go ahead and pat myself on the back for continuing to write. Let me tell you – it is 10:00 p.m. and this is absolutely the last thing that I want to be doing right now. Maybe this is a better task for the morning.
I’ll have to see where this fits in best with my schedule going forward. Definitely for the morning on weekends.
Today’s reading definitely sets the stage for where we are headed moving forward – how we will perform this transformation.
However, the part that resonates (and I think it is one of those head slap common sense things…that we like to forget) is that happiness and fulfillment is already in me….it’s already in all of us. However, it gets hidden and forgotten and we forget that we are able create it and harness it. I like the hopefulness of this sentiment. It’s comforting to know that it is there and the converse that we aren’t broken or defective if we are having trouble fully utilizing it.
One thing that I’ve learned over the past two years is that you just have to keep pushing your boundaries and moving forward. Was I really truly ready to be dating when I created a profile on match.com. maybe not? I was probably ready for dating but I don’t necessarily think I was ready for a relationship. However, I knew that I didn’t want to remain in the mental state i was in and the only thing that I could do was move forward and meet people and put myself out there.
Sure, I didn’t fall in love right away but I probably didn’t want to at that point. I am glad, though, for the dates I had with the four guys before I met my husband. I think those paved the way for me to not have him be a “rebound” and got some of the getting back into dating kinks out of my system. And when I met him – it was so different than when I met or spent time with the other men. If hadn’t been able to feel something different, i probably would have second guessed it. I’m sure glad I didn’t.