We may have everything we need to make us happy but that certainly doesn’t equate to having the ability to put yourself into the set of circumstances in which you are happy.
But maybe it is that awareness – recognizing that you aren’t in the happiest of places and that you want to be happy and figuring out how to be happy – is the way to get to the happy, self-aware, content place.
I’d like to say that I was strong enough or smart enough to recognize my unhappiness to get out of a bad, unhappy relationship….but I wasn’t at the point to acknowledge it. Who knows how long it would have taken. At that point in time, it felt like I had too much invested, put too much time into something to just walk away just because of happiness. What would I have had to show for my time, my investment in that other person. How could I have chosen to invest in someone, who ultimately, wasn’t going to be around forever?
I’m trying not to dwell on that or be embarrassed by that…but I am. And it seems especially silly now, since I have met and fallen in love with and married the love of my life, my best friend.
Maybe the purpose of this project isn’t to find my happiness – because I am happy – but to cut the strings of embarrassment and find contentment.