So what do I need to be happy anyway?

One of my goals over the last two years has been to get rid of as much extraneous stuff and clutter possible. Before that, I (mostly due to the slight hoarding tendencies of my ex) had way too much stuff. End tables, nicknacks, decks of cards, chairs….you name it, we probably had it.

After my breakup, due to our eviction and the incarceration of my ex, I had to move my items as quickly as possible and facilitate the removal of his…which meant wading through all of our things to extract the things that I needed and wanted.

I definitely wasn’t perfect or even successful at extracting the things that I wanted and needed but I was able to pare down my belongings. By the time I moved out of my solo apartment to move in with my husband, I had successfully whittled things down, having taken a number of car loads to St. Vinnies…and further whittled things down by the time we moved my things out of the storage unit we were paying for and into our one bedroom apartment and storage stall.

There certainly is something about two adults living in a one bedroom apartment, with limited closet and storage space…as well as a commitment to not paying for storage…that motivates you to pick and choose what things you truly need and want. I got rid of tons of things – I only have a couple boxes of books, most of which are cookbooks, I only have kitchen supplies and tools that are nice and that I truly use and love…everything else was donated.

And you know what, there is only one thing that I unintentionally donated that I needed – a wireless internet router that was likely outdated anyway. I fully stand behind the $70 cost of replacing it because I got rid of so much of what was weighing me down. I like to know that I am only keeping things that I need and that my “junk drawer” fits in a small rubbermaid box. And it is only items that I will likely need – like spare office supplies, some cords, and five dice. You never know when you will need five dice.

Long story short…I truly thing I have everything that I need to be happy. Because I am happy. I want to improve my fitness level, write more (which I am doing through this awesome project), get to know a few more people (book club and knitting club…which i’ve yet to do…), and maybe grow some things on our patio.

How could I not be happy when I am working in a job I love with solid colleagues that have supported me both professionally and creatively, I have a few amazing close girlfriends, and I have an amazing husband. I can’t regret anything that happened before I met my husband…because it could have altered the course of getting to meet him. But more importantly, I have actively tried to learn from my past mistakes and when I met him and began our relationship – I went into it with a full list of what not to do. Better yet, I knew what kind of relationship I wanted to have…and when my expectations aligned with his expectations and wants, I knew we had a good thing going. Mutual respect, no game playing, honesty, trust, lots of laughs and Arnold Schwartzeneger impersonations. What more could a woman need?

Our relationship fulfills me and makes me happy because I was able to figure out what kind of relationship would make me happy and what changes I needed to make in myself to be happy….and I made it happen. This didn’t happen without tears and panic…but it was made a lot easier knowing there was someone to catch and hold me when I fell. As well as knowing that I could catch and hold myself…and take care of myself just as well…but knowing that it’s awfully nice to know that there is someone there to join me.


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