What does that exactly mean? During my downtime, I think I spend quite a bit of time – within….but not necessarily actively processing, dreaming or thinking. I go within when I read – keeping my mind actively engaged with a new story or when I watch TV – again, keeping my mind actively engaged…but allowing myself time to rest.
I sometime find it very hard to get my mind to keep quite – to allow myself to slow down and relax…so i find I need to give it something to do, something to focus on, so I can allow my body some time to relax. Clearly this isn’t sustainable or the ultimate end solution. One thing that I’ve noticed with my unique bouts of insomnia…or my pattern or sleeping poorly is that I can’t stay asleep. I wake up and then my mind begins cycling, churning and keeping me awake with minor thoughts that make my anxiety spike.
At some point in the past few years, I found the best solution/way to cope/fix this…talk radio. Specifically, WGN 720 radio out of Chicago. Let me tell you, this is a fabulous solution. If I end up waking up…I listen to Nick Digilio talking for a few minutes about pop culture or I hear the news or traffic update and after a few minutes of my mind being engaged…but not having to lead the conversation, I quickly fall back asleep.
I wonder….is my mind up to this? This concept of going within…can I honestly do what SBB is requesting? Going within for an hour a day? That’s quite a time commitment…Am I afraid of spending the time…or is it fear of what I may encounter or what this may do to me?
At this point, I can’t be afraid of it making the restlessness come…I’ve got my solution for sleep….or for it making me moody or sad…because I’ve got the best sounding board and reassuring hugs from my husband.
So why not? This month has led to me sporadically posting and playing catch up on Sunday afternoons…but you know what as I’m approaching being 1/12th done with this…it feels good. As I just finished reading through and jotting down notes for the rest of January…I don’t want to stop.
So here’s to carving out an hour a day…because the beauty of this is that I can do this while I’m doing these posts…and using the remaining time to work on myself.
My mantra for 2015 has been on self-improvement for mind, body and soul…with the ultimate goal of readying myself to try and get pregnant. yep, lofty. I definitely have some weight to shed and introspection to achieve. I’ve had a rocky first month..but you know what, I’ve not given up…and I plan on beginning February with a bang!
Because as SBB says….”if you go deep enough, often enough, something good is bound to come back to you.” And you know what…that promise, that hope is enough to keep moving forward. The suspense builds…