Day 43 – Once Upon a Time You Trusted Yourself

GRR…it’s taken me 43 days…ok really 43 writing prompts…to get there…but I just had my first nearly done prompt deletion. 😦 sad face. Lesson learned – before I start getting cute and wanting to put in links, I need to first save/publish my work.

I liked where I was going with my prompt…so here is my best attempt to create it.

This is one of those times when I’d love for SBB to be in front of me so I could ask her a few questions. One would be how my personal Simple Abundance journey – my writing to interact with her daily entries – what I am taking as my daily writing prompt fit in with her intent of interacting with her work.

It is so exciting that she incorporated daily writing and reflection into this project but I’m assuming that my writing…my daily writing prompts do not equal the intent or goal of what she is getting at with her daily dialogue.

I know 100% that I will not be as open or forthright with my thoughts and feelings in this “public” forum as I need to be with a daily dialogue journal. Despite that…and despite the need to get going with my daily dialogue journal, I’d like to think that I am adding to this project…taking it to a different level or space by blogging about my progress with or thoughts on this project and the message/take away that SBB is giving to me every day.

There is also another aspect of my writing that I need to acknowledge…a perspective that I will change as I continue through the year. Before this week, I had only told one person and shared the link to this blog with, my best friend, about what I’m trying to do with this project…the way I’m interacting with this material. I did mention the project to my boss pretty early on…but I was still in the phase of questioning about whether or not I would commit to it. My husband knows that I’m trying to write every day and that I’m writing based on Simple Abundance, but I haven’t really discussed with him the purpose of the project…or I hadn’t discussed or mentioned it until this week.

I know I said this already in some of the writing prompts from earlier this week. There was something about my work training for the 7 Habits that really spoke to me and resonated with me. I was really excited (and still am) about the interaction about the 7 Habits process and this one…and how I can do them both together to enhance my journey towards my best self. For whatever reason, this was also the week where I started talking about this project with others – acknowledging that I am trying to work on myself, giving myself the space to go through this project. I even told my husband that 2015 is the year of MrsYunker.

Now, despite talking about this with people certainly isn’t going to be driving me to actively promote my writing. I’m 100% fine with having this publicly available in the Internet and allowing people to discover it. But I am surely not quite ready for people I know to interact with what I’m saying. That’s just a little too personal for me at this point. I’m happy with people I don’t know reading my words and taking them at face value…but I think the point that scares me is opening myself to others – their preconceived notions, their experiences and interactions and allowing them to read and respond to what I’m writing. And that is taking a huge assumption on my part that any of them would even give a damn about what I’m writing or take the time to read it. Hmm…

I know that I’m going to have to get to this place…and take this jump…this leap. But I’m not there yet. That opening myself…that’s a scary place for me. That’s a place that a very selected few are invited to go. We’ll see when I get there…and what SBB has to say to help me get there. I’ll be intrigued to see what the daily writing prompt is when I finally choose to put that link out there…and that link out there with the connection to who I am.

It has me thinking…at least for now…especially about how to do it. I know that this whole project is about putting yourself out there – to not care about what others think and to live outside of that area of control. Well, it looks like, at least outwardly, I’m still there for now. I’ve opened my mind to be participating more fully….but I’m still in the baby step mode for now.

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